Ruth

Several years ago, a good friend of mine from North Carolina, told me about his mother's (we can call her Ruth) driving record. She was a single point shy of getting her license suspended. The one time I rode in the car with her, we ended up in the left turn lane of a boulevard in oncoming traffic--but only after driving at nearly 60 mph through a subdivision. In addition to that, over the course of her driving career, she had put not one, but two cars underwater; one in a pool, the other in a creek. The fact that this woman is still alive is a testament to car safety engineers everywhere!

One day, her husband asked her to drive their truck over to his office (they had to switch vehicles for some reason or another). So, she got in the truck and drove it over to meet her husband. When she arrived at the office, she walked in and promptly announced in her sweet southern accent, "Honey, there is something wrong with the truck!"

Having driven it recently with no issues, she had his attention. So, he asked, "What's wrong with it?"  

"Well…" she started somewhat exasperated, "It's making all kinds of noise, the acceleration is sluggish, and the brakes aren't working very well!" 

Curious, her husband walked out the door to investigate. He opened the door and immediately saw what was going on. Their truck was parked in the parking lot, but attached to the truck, was their 25-foot sailboat. His wife, bless her heart, had driven the truck nearly 10 miles through suburban Raleigh and had never once looked in the rear-view mirror.

What's on your trailer?

This entry is not an attempt to make fun of this woman, who is quite spectacular in her own right. However, it does offer an opportunity to explore an essential question: What are you trying to pull? You see we all bring our experiences, both good and bad, with us through life. But if we try to live as if those experiences are not there, or we are not affected by them, it is just like trying to drive a truck and trailer through the suburbs of a major city. We can end up running our friends and families off the road, we may struggle to slow down, and we plow over the people in our path. And when we aren't performing the way we think we should, we start to shame ourselves or blame others for our shortcomings. 

Awareness makes a difference

By acknowledging the influence of our experiences, we can live in compassion concerning our story. If you have an extended trailer with a bunch of heavy stuff on it, you'll drive differently than if you have a little eight-foot U-Haul. You'll make wider turns, give yourself space to slow down, and maybe avoid those little neighborhood streets until you've had the opportunity to unpack what you're carrying to a greater or lesser extent.

It's even possible that you're carrying a fantastic thing that you're just not using well; like a boat. A boat on a trailer is not in the space it was designed for, but in the water it opens new horizons! It sets you free from the confines of roads and land, giving you a unique opportunity to explore and cultivate the new spaces and places that were inaccessible before.

Next Steps

So, what are you trying to pull in life? How do your experiences influence you? Are you living with compassion regarding your story? Many of us just don't know. But you can change that, explore your story with a counselor, friend, or mentor (or all of those!). Don't live life the way Ruth drove in this story. Look at your trailer, unpack your story, lighten your load, discover your strength, or at least begin to live with an awareness of what you're pulling. In this way, you may be able to chart new waters and embark on a fresh adventure.