3 Reasons to See a Counselor
Therapy. Perhaps no other health field is viewed with as many polarizing and opposite emotions as this one. Admitting “I’m seeing a therapist” can elicit reactions of shock and judgment from certain people. Or it can indicate that you’re seeking health and balance in your life.
While some people today still view therapy negatively, I’m starting to see encouraging trends regarding mental health in Colorado Springs and beyond. Pop culture and our society are beginning to normalize mental health in a variety of ways. For example, it’s not uncommon to see a character in a sitcom, TV show, or a movie visit a therapist to discuss whatever issues they seem to be facing. Likewise, people in coffee shops and restaurants often share with each other about a therapist they know or work with.
While the idea of going to therapy is starting to be more acceptable, questions about the details of seeing a therapist remain. When should you see one? How should you choose one? How will you know what to talk about, and will you just be sitting there awkwardly trying to figure it out?
I’ll be addressing these questions and more in a blog soon, but for today, I want to focus on that first question: When should you see a therapist? I propose three main times.
1. When you’re stuck
To various degrees and in different seasons, we all experience the frustration and anguish of feeling stuck. Your relationship may be in crisis. You may find yourself addicted. Perhaps you’re living with crippling anxiety or depression. Or perhaps you’re losing momentum at a critical point in your life or career. In any of these instances, feeling stuck is real and can cast a shadow over everything in your life. Without the right tools to navigate these seasons, even the most mundane tasks can feel overwhelming.
Feeling stuck is a really good time to see a therapist. Therapists are trained to help you get to the root of why you’re stuck and give you tools for moving forward. If the people closest to you keep bringing up therapy, that could be another indication that this would be a good step for you to take. As an aside, if you’re finding everyone else is to blame for the problems in your life, you’re likely the one in the group who would most benefit from therapy.
2. When you’re in a major life transition
Transition, even when it’s healthy or positive, can be hard. The stress of a move, a new job, or a different life phase can lead to a confusing cacophony of emotions that threaten to break out of you at any time and without warning. Whether anticipated or not, events like death, divorce, a miscarriage, or your last child moving out of your home can throw your life into disarray. The intense joy of marriage, a new baby, graduation, or a job promotion can be exciting, while seismically shifting the landscape.
Any of these events will force you into a substantial role transformation that often creates pressure and stress, pushing you into the uncharted territory. These resultant emotions are often raw and exposed, and can be challenging to navigate on your own. If you’re in a season of change, a therapist can walk with you in compassion and care, helping you understand the dynamics of your story and how the transition you’re navigating impacts your journey.
3. When everything is going great
The best time to see a therapist is when everything in your life is going great. While this may seem counter-intuitive, let me ask you a question: Do you only visit your medical doctor when you’re sick? Hopefully not. Receiving regular check-ups ensures you’re healthy and your body is functioning as it should. Additionally, it also provides an opportunity to catch more potential severe health complications early on.
Seeing a therapist when everything is going well can help you prepare for the inevitable changes you will experience down the road. A counselor can help you trace the patterns and themes in your life story; helping you draw connections and meaning that you may be too close to see. Cultivating this awareness allows you to process the trauma and gifts of your past that are influencing your style of relating and ways of doing life. These patterns weave together like threads in a tapestry. Taking the time and space to explore them when all is well will more clearly reveal both the beauty and tragedy of your journey. With that knowledge, you will be equipped to engage your story with more compassion, curiosity, and courage.
Here are a few more reasons the good times are the best times to start a relationship with a therapist:
You have the margin and resources to do your research and find the perfect therapist for you. Do you mesh with this person? Do they share your values? Are they able to work with your schedule? Can you afford the therapist you want, and make room in your budget for therapy? These are all questions you may not have the luxury of considering if you wait until you’re in a crisis.
Seeing a therapist when everything is going well allows you to establish a therapeutic relationship with someone who understands your story when you inevitably experience crisis or change. Trying to create that relationship when your life is chaotic is much harder than when you feel stable and healthy.
Meeting with a therapist can help develop a language to know how to understand your story and emotions. If you do this while you’re in a season of comparative health, it will benefit you tremendously when you go through more difficult seasons. Cultivating an awareness of your emotional and relational life will provide a framework that will reinforce your heart and relationships as you navigate your story.
Accessing and understanding your emotions is easier when you aren’t in crisis. A therapist will help you interpret the unique data your emotions provide so you can walk integrated with your feelings, rather than at war with them. When we disconnect from our hearts, it’s much harder for us to ask for help when we need it.
Counselors like me exist to help people understand their stories, their emotions, and their histories so they can live in health and abundance. Fundamentally, the best time to see one is when things are going great. However, at any stage, seeking help requires courage, an understanding of your story, your purpose, and your emotions ... both for you, and for those you love.
If you’re ready to start the journey, reach out to me and schedule a free consult. If I’m not a good fit for you, I’ll do my best to set you on the right path.