Many people look at their story and think that nothing traumatic has ever happened because our understanding of trauma is often so extreme. We think if we haven’t experienced sexual abuse, combat zones, or physical injury, then we haven’t experienced any significant amount of trauma. But this unfortunate understanding keeps us from recognizing and dealing with the trauma in our own lives.

Though the idea of going to therapy is starting to be more acceptable, questions about the details of seeing a therapist remain. When should you see one? How should you choose one? How will you know what to talk about, and will you just be sitting there awkwardly trying to figure it out?

In my effort to be logical, I eliminated data from my evaluation, hobbling my self in the very goal (being rational) I intended to pursue. I will never be rational if I eradicate relevant data, even emotional data, from my calculus. It turns out that by diminishing, ignoring and downplaying my emotional experience, I was becoming less rational.

Spiritual Abuse is likely one of the most subtle, profound, and widespread types of trauma in the world. One need look no further than their closest congregation, parish, or temple to find a history of victimization in the name of God. Movies, news stories, rumors, and memes all illustrate ways in which God's power is invoked in an attempt to coerce, manipulate, or otherwise harm the very people that have dedicated their lives to following him.

Discovering our true identity is a journey that will include connection in community, purpose, and shared intimacy. And as we learn ourselves, we will begin to have a deeper capacity to offer ourselves to others in more meaningful and profound ways.

As we creatively engage our fellow travelers with courage, compassion, and curiosity, an authentic connection marked by mutuality, reciprocity, respect, and dignity, will grow and develop. In this space, we will have the opportunity to cultivate a new story, one written with an eye to the needs and desires of both parties. We can pursue living with an orientation to developing meaning, pursuing the dreams of our shared wonder, cultivating purpose, and enjoying the abundance of the deeper life.